Chapter 27
(Kara's POV)

Okay, it's official: this is getting ridiculous. I mean, here I am, trying to play the 'good ol' days' card with Lee when I know there's no way in hell he is going to buy it but the truth is that I'm getting desperate. I've tried everything I can think of to get him to let go of this but so far I haven't had much luck. I just want to get this over with once and for all but unfortunately he seems to have other plans and I don't know what to do.

Sure, I knew this was going to be tricky, I knew that Lee was not going to be easy for me to shake but come on, can't he just get this over with and put us both out of our misery once and for all? The problem is that it's not just that he is being stubborn, it's also that he doesn't seem to want to play by the rules and that is complicating matters.

I mean, I was pretty sure that telling him the truth was going to be enough to cause him to be disgusted enough to go away but it only got me a worried look and that is definitely not what I had been expecting. That is a problem, though luckily I think we are finally starting to make some progress here and that gives me hope that this won't drag on for much longer.

"Did she feed you at least or would that too have qualified as you 'reminding her of the fact that you were alive'?" he asks, sounding far from happy and I am relieved to see a somewhat normal reaction out of him, one I can actually work with.

"There was food at the apartment, most of the time and, well, let's just say that family dinners had never been part of the routine so it was basically up to me to feed myself. Besides, as you can see I didn't exactly starve to death so it wasn't that big a deal."

"That's not the point!"

"I already told you, my mom wasn't the type to come into my room to tuck me in at night and read me a bedtime story," I point out. "I was used to taking care of myself, I had been doing it for as long as I could remember. Hell, when I was six or seven it wasn't unusual for me to have to get myself ready to go to school on my own because she was still sleeping so not having anyone to fix my meals for me when I was thirteen or fifteen or whatever wasn't really that big a deal."

"You were a kid, Kara."

"I could take care of myself," I shoot back.

"Maybe, but the point is that you shouldn't have had to do it."

"Yeah, well, one lesson I learned early on is that 'shouldn't have' won't get you anywhere. My life may not have been perfect but it wasn't anything I wasn't used to and it certainly wasn't anything I couldn't handle."

"And you think that makes it right?"

"It's not about what's right, damn it! I mean, was your life perfect?" I snap, knowing that it is a low blow but not particularly caring about it.

"No, but it wasn't..."

"It was the only life I knew and as far as I was concerned it was perfectly normal. Hell, I was eight by the time I finally figured out that there was anything different about it."

"What!?" he exclaims.

"Well, I never said I was bright."

"How could you...?" he trails off.

"How could I what? Not know? I just didn't. I was used to it all and I couldn't see anything wrong with it because as far as I was concerned that was just the way things were. I mean, I remember sitting in class and wondering how the other kids could manage to stay still for so long. It never even occurred to me that it was because no one had beaten them black and blue the night before. The point is that as frakked up as it sounds, that was the only life I knew. I couldn't change it then and I can't change it now, so sorry if it doesn't fit your neat little picture but bitching about it is not going to make any difference at all so what is the frakking point? Now are we going to go get something to eat or do you want to keep beating on this dead horse for a little longer?"

"Would you just stop it?"

"Stop what?"

"Trying to push me away, it's not going to work."

"I'm not..."

"Yes, you are so why don't you just tell me what the frak it is that you don't want me to know and get it over with once and for all?"

"Nothing."

"I don't believe you."

"Well, that's your problem, isn't it?"

"Kara..."

"Drop it," I warn him.

"Is that what you really want?"

"Yes," I growl.

"Tough. Why are you so afraid?"

"Afraid?" I challenge.

"Yes."

"You are frakking crazy, Adama!"

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong," he says, crossing his arms and digging his heels in... so much for my hopes that he would let go of this dead horse any time soon.

"I'm not afraid, I just want you to get this over with, that's all!"

"Get what over with?"

"This!"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing. What do you want me to get over with?" he insists.

"Why don't you just go?"

"Do you really want me to go?" he asks, sounding as if he were trying to put some sort of puzzle together.

"Yes!" I all but scream at him, trying to keep myself from crying. I had figured that pushing him away would hurt less than having him walk away but it looks like either way it's going to hurt like hell and he is not making things any easier here.

"No, you don't," he says, looking at me almost as if he could see right through me and I can't help but to look away.

"What is this really about, Kara?" he asks gently, cutting past my defenses.

"It's just that..." I trail off, not knowing how to explain, how to make him understand.

"Why do you keep trying to push me away?" he insists and I just shake my head.

"Look at me."

I do so reluctantly.

"I am not going anywhere," he says. I try to keep myself from flinching at his words but he knows me too well.

"That's it, isn't it? That's why you are trying so hard to push me away. I won't leave," he promises, sounding almost surprised at that. He says it with so much sincerity that I almost find myself believing him but I don't, not really. Oh, I know he means it, or at least he thinks he does, but I also know that once he's had the time to think it over he is going to regret those words and it wouldn't be fair of me to hold him to them.