Chapter 19
(Adama's POV)

After escorting Laura back to her shuttle I find myself unable to let go of her words. On the one hand there is no denying that she made some valid points but on the other I'm still far from ready to admit that she may actually have been right about everything she said. The problem is that short of confronting Kara --something that would definitely be a bad idea-- there is very little I can do to test her theories.

Sure, there's no denying that what Laura said seemed to shed some light on some of the most puzzling aspects of Kara's behavior --and over all it was essentially in agreement with what Cottle had hinted at earlier-- but at the same time I'm still not sure that hers is the only possible explanation. Knowing that I need a second opinion or at least some additional information if I want to get anywhere with this I ask Lee to come to my quarters.

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Come in, son."

"Dad?" he asks somewhat hesitatingly as he closes the hatch.

"How are you holding up?"

"Trying not to think too much but I thought you wanted to wait until my shift was over to talk."

"I did but something came up."

"Oh?"

"I wanted to ask you a couple of questions."

"About?"

"Kara... and Zak."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I never got to see them together, you did, and I was wondering how they were around each other."

"They were crazy about each other. Zak absolutely adored her and he couldn't keep his hands off of her... not that Kara was complaining about it, in fact that went both ways. It could get pretty annoying at times, to tell you the truth. That's one of the reasons why I'm having such a hard time believing that she could have kept something like this from him in the first place."

"That damned woman," I mutter.

"Kara's mom?" asks Lee, obviously taken aback by my outburst.

"Actually I was thinking about the President," I reluctantly admit.

"The President?"

"I asked her to come over so that I could fill her in on what we had learned about those farms and the fact that Kara had concealed some things that Leoben had mentioned back when she questioned him somehow entered the conversation," I explain.

"You told her? What happened to keeping this to ourselves?" asks Lee, sounding utterly horrified at the thought.

"I didn't have to tell her anything, not really. She already knew."

"How could she...?"

"Apparently the fact that she used to be a school teacher means that child abuse is something she has encountered more than once. Besides, you don't get to be as good at manipulating people as that woman is without an instinctive understanding of what makes them tick."

"But what does that have to do with Zak?"

"She said something, something that got me thinking. She said that the two kinds of touch Kara knows how to deal with are sex and violence and that that's probably why she keeps pushing your buttons: because your relationship with her can't be defined in either of those terms and that scares her. I tried to tell her that Kara had been engaged once but, even though she didn't argue the point, I don't think she was particularly convinced... and I hate to say this but you just proved her right."

"So what, Zak got the sex and I get the violence?"

"Not exactly. I think Zak may have been young enough to be 'easily distracted' and Kara probably took full advantage of that fact to keep him at arm's length but your relationship with her is more complex so she has to keep trying to goad you into either of those extremes and in that regard the violence is just easier... or at least I think that's what the President was hinting at."

"In other words, whenever Zak started getting too close for comfort she kissed him until she was reasonably sure that blood and reason had flown south for the winter but since she knows that that's not much of an option with me she skips the niceties and just punches the daylights out of me?" asks Lee.

"I don't think it's that simple, son."

"Simple or not, one thing is for sure: telling her that I love her is not the best way to approach her."

"You told her what? When?" I ask, surprised not so much by the feeling but by the fact that apparently Lee actually came out and said it.

"It's not like you think, dad. We had just had a pretty nasty argument outside of Sharon's cell. Gods, if only I had been paying more attention."

"What happened?"

"I was so angry. I wanted to shoot Sharon right there and then but Kara stopped me... she flat out told me that I had no idea of what had happened to her back on Caprica and then she just walked away. I found her alone a while later, bouncing a ball off the wall and looking kind of lost. I tried to get her to talk to me then but... well, you know how stubborn she can be."

"Yes, I do but what I still can't figure out is what that could possibly have to do with you telling her that you love her."

"I told her that I was her friend, that I was there for her if there was anything she wanted to get off her chest and that I loved her... it kind of slipped out, to tell you the truth, but she latched on to it anyway. In fact she was teasing me mercilessly, telling me how sweet it was and I kept trying to take my words back. I told her that she was dreaming but she insisted that there were no take-backs."

"That sounds like her," I say, trying hard not to smile at the mental image and knowing all too well that when Kara wants to keep people at bay her words can be as devastating as her fists.

"Yes, well, right now I'm having a hard time trying to think of anything but the fact that if only I hadn't allowed her to chase me away with all her teasing I might actually have been able to figure out that she was hurt and she wouldn't be stuck in sickbay right now."

"And that's probably why she did it."

"I know but..."

"There were plenty of chances for this to come out, son, and there is also plenty of blame to go around but in the end the one who should have said something was Kara. In the end the only reason we didn't know was because she didn't tell us, because she didn't want us to know."

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel better."

"I know but that's in the past and there's nothing you can do to change it so you may want to keep your focus on what you can do... especially because I suspect that things are about to get interesting around here."

"This is not going to be easy, is it?"

"No, it's not."

"So the President is going to be your secret weapon?"

"Something like that. She made some valid points, I'll give her that, but I'm still not sure how this is going to work in the long run... especially because she wants me to try hugging her," I say, shaking my head.

"Hugging her?"

"Yes."

"And we are still talking about Starbuck here? The President of the Twelve Colonies actually came out and told you that you should try giving Kara a hug?" asks Lee, obviously having a hard time trying to wrap his mind around the idea, not that I blame him.

"Yes."

"Could I make a suggestion?" he asks, wincing as the implications of the president's words sink in.

"Go ahead, son."

"Riot gear... I hear the marines have some. If you ask nicely I'm pretty sure they'll let you borrow it."