Chapter 5
(Lee's POV)

The moment I see Kara I realize that this is not going to be easy... not that I was expecting it to be. She is obviously scared and trying hard not to show it. That means that chances are we are about to go up against a reinforced version of the Great Wall of Starbuck and --having butted heads with the regular version of that particular wall more times than I care to remember-- I can't help but cringe at the thought. In fact what I was thinking earlier about me having to sit on top of her while she was debriefed may turn out to be far more accurate than I ever expected it to be.

The problem is that I'm liking this whole situation less and less with every passing second. Sure, Kara can easily out-stubborn your average mule when she wants to, I've always known that, but that doesn't change anything. Kara's stubbornness is something I'm intimately familiar with and therefore it is something I should have taken into account from the very beginning. It is not something that should have kept me from realizing that there was something seriously wrong with her almost from the moment she came back and I know it.

In fact now that I think back to what happened when we were in front of Sharon's cell I realize that she came close to telling me then... or if not telling me at least she hinted at the fact that something had happened to her, something big, something I didn't know about. The problem is that at the time I was so wrapped up in my own anger that instead of listening to what she was trying to say, instead of trying to find out what the frak she was talking about, I pushed her away --literally-- and by the next time I saw her, when she was playing with that stupid ball, the walls had already gone up and it was too late... though even then I could see that she was hurting and hurting bad. The thing is that even though I can now see those lost opportunities for what they were, what bothers me is not so much the fact that I missed something but rather the magnitude of what I missed.

I mean, I'm not only supposed to be her CO, I'm also supposed to be her friend, so what does the fact that I didn't even realize she was hurt, that she had actually been shot, say about me? How could I possibly have failed to notice something like that? How could I possibly have shoved her against that fence? Of course, I know this is not entirely my fault either and that leads me to the question of what the frak could she possibly have been thinking when she didn't tell me about it. I mean, I understand that after everything she had done to get that arrow there was no way she was going to agree to being left behind when we went in search of that tomb --just like I know that if she had told me she had been shot she would have been left behind, whether she wanted to or not-- but somehow I suspect that there's a lot more to it than that, especially because that still doesn't account for that mysterious second surgery, the one even Cottle has been unable to explain... and it certainly doesn't account for her words in front of Sharon's cell when she downright told me that I had no idea of what she had been through.

Well, even though I know it is already too late, it looks like I'm finally going to get some answers... and the truth is that I'm dreading it.

For a moment it seems like no one is really sure of what to say, of how to begin. I know that the first move has to come from dad, after all he is the commander, but he seems to be determined to take his time.

"So the doctor tells me you were shot," he says after what feels like an eternity.

"Yes, sir," confirms Kara without looking up and without volunteering any additional information.

"What happened?"

"A gun was fired and its bullet entered my abdomen, sir," she replies. Well, I have to admit that it is an answer to dad's question --I'll give her that-- though I suspect it's not the one he is after and he is not going to be happy about it.

"Don't play games with me, Lieutenant. You know what I want to know."

"Yes, sir."

"I'm waiting."

"We were planning a raid when the cylons found us. I was shot just as everyone else was retreating and woke up in some sort of hospital," she says, rather reluctantly, after gathering her thoughts for a moment. "I was told that some members of the resistance had brought me in. At the time I was too out of it to ask too many questions but eventually I realized that something didn't add up. The place was just too frakking quiet and the doctor kept knocking me out. Then, after a couple of days, I woke up with a second scar... the one the doc was asking about. That's when I got suspicious... especially when the 'doctor' called me 'Starbuck'. I hadn't told him my call sign so the next time he tried to sedate me I pinched my IV to keep the drugs from getting to me and then I stumbled out of my room somehow and saw him talking to another copy of the woman I had fought back at the museum. That's when I knew he was a cylon, it was the only thing that made sense. I went back to my room, smashed a mirror and then when Simon came close enough I slashed his throat."

"Simon?"

"The 'doctor'. As I was trying to get out of there I walked into a room and..." she trails off and I realize that this is probably the part she doesn't want to talk about, the reason why she concealed what had happened to her in the first place, not that the rest of it has been particularly pleasant.

"What did you find, Lieutenant?" asks my father, trying to keep this impersonal, trying to keep her focused on the facts, though I can see that he is worried.

"There were about half a dozen women there, they were hooked to these machines... one of them was Sue-Shaun..."

"Sue-Shaun?"

"A member of the resistance," she explains. "They had probably captured her when they got me."

"And the machines?" asks dad.

"I'm not sure how they worked, not really, but... I do know what they were, what the cylons were trying to do: they were experimenting on those women, trying to impregnate them, trying to create hybrids. The hospital was a farm..."

"A farm?"

"That's what Sharon called it... it was a place for them to breed us like cattle. I wanted to get Sue-Shaun out but I knew I couldn't and so did she... she told me that much. She knew that trying to get her away from those machines would have taken me too long, that we'd never make it... there were so many tubes everywhere... but I couldn't leave her there, not like that, so I did the only thing I could: I... I smashed the machines, I smashed all of them. I killed Sue-Shaun, I killed every woman in that room."

"It's okay," I say, almost painfully aware of just how upset she is and trying to offer some comfort, like I should have done when she came back, but deep down I know there is really nothing I can do.

"And then?" asks dad, obviously wanting to get this over with once and for all.

"I managed to make it out, barely. Helo, Sharon and the resistance found me. I wanted to stay and fight, to take out that frakking place, to take out every single farm on Caprica, but that wasn't why I had gone back and I couldn't afford to do it. By that time Sharon had already managed to commandeer the heavy raider so we came back."

"And why is this the first I'm hearing about any of this?" growls my father and I can't help but cringe at that.

"I... I didn't think it mattered."

"What do you mean 'you didn't think it mattered'?"

"There is nothing we can do about any of it, not from out here anyway, and I know we are not going back. The resistance said they would take care of it," she says with a hint of accusation in her voice.

"It still wasn't your call, Lieutenant," dad reminds her.

"I know, sir, but at the time our top priority was to find that tomb and, with all due respect, you weren't even here when I came back... you had been shot, the fleet was split and everything was so frakked up."

"You still should have told me you were hurt before we went down to Kobol, Kara," I remind her, knowing that even though she has a point about dad not being here she should still have reported this.

"And what would you have done? Left me behind in the 'safety' of the Astral Queen? There was no point in saying anything at the time and you know it because the bottom line is that we had a mission to accomplish and we couldn't stop just because of what those bastards had done to me."

"We have been back for two days, Lieutenant. Even if what you are saying is true --and I do have my doubts about you failing to notify Captain Adama at the time-- you should still have reported to sickbay as soon as you set foot back on the Galactica. Besides, there is also the fact that you concealed the information regarding two new cylon models."

"I thought Helo had mentioned those..." she begins but Helo interrupts her.

"I only saw one of them, Kara, the blonde woman... I never really saw a copy of Simon."

"We will discuss that later, and I expect you to provide us with a detailed description," says dad and going by his tone I'm fairly certain that he is nowhere near done with her, the problem is that I'm not sure how much more of this Kara can take.