Chapter 57
(Kara's POV)

'And here we go again', that is the thought that keeps running through my mind when I realize that Lee is fidgeting and looking decidedly uncomfortable. I know him and I know that he is tap-dancing around the gods know what. That is never a good thing but right now I am drawing a blank when it comes to figuring out why.

"Okay, why do I get the feeling that I am not going to like this?" I ask after what feels like ages when it becomes apparent that Lee is not going to bring it up... whatever it is that 'it' turns out to be.

"Because you are not?" he replies, not that that is much of an answer.

"What the frak is that supposed to mean?"

"I did something, something you are not going to like. I..."

"Would you just spit it out?" I growl when he trails off.

"I was talking to dad and Cottle and..."

"And?"

"And I said something, something I probably shouldn't have."

"What the frak did you say?" I insist, not liking Lee's hesitation in the least.

"I mentioned that you were having some pretty serious nightmares... and I let slip Jonas's name," he admits.

"You what?!" I exclaim, knowing that this is bad, very bad, and that if Lee is aware of just how bad this is then chances are that 'someone' clued him in on why it was that Jonas got mixed in with Simon and Leoben... and that in order to clue Lee in, that 'someone' had to have figured it out himself first.

"I let slip Jonas's name," he repeats.

"Damn it, Lee, how could you?" I ask.

"Oh, no. No way you are pinning this one on me," he mutters, glaring at me and not backing down an inch.

"No frakking 'pinning' involved. You told them!"

"Yes, I did and I'm really sorry about that but the bottom line is that if you had told me the whole truth I wouldn't have and you know it!"

"Are you saying that this is my fault somehow?"

"No, damn it, but..."

"But what?"

"But why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you?" I ask, deciding to play it safe. Oh, I am fairly certain I know what he means but I'm not one hundred percent sure and as far as I'm concerned there's no point in taking a chance on him bluffing the truth out of me.

"That you were molested by that bastard!" he blurts out and all of a sudden I find myself wishing that he would just go back to tap-dancing around the issue, if only because that made my own tap-dancing easier.

"Because I didn't want you to know and because it was none of your frakking business, that's why!" I growl, knowing that trying to deny it would mean openly lying to him and that that's a line I'm not willing to cross... not to mention that it probably wouldn't do me much good anyway.

"I thought we were supposed to be friends!"

"So?"

"What do you mean 'so'?"

"I mean that we may be friends now but this whole thing with Jonas happened a very long time ago, long before we met, and there was no frakking point in telling you about it!"

"No frakking point?"

"No, damn it! It happened, I got over it, end of story... besides, when the frak was I supposed to bring it up, before or after CAP?"

"How about when you told me about your nightmares? You told me that the problem was that you were not in control, for frak's sake!"

"No, I didn't."

"You didn't?"

"No. You said that. I just chose not to contradict you, that's all," I remind him.

"'That's all'?" he repeats, with more than a hint of anger in his voice.

"Yes, damn it! I mean, what else do you want me to say?"

"I don't know!" he snaps.

"That sure clears things up."

"I just want you to trust me!"

"I do."

"You sure have a funny way of showing it," he mutters.

"How many times do I have to tell you that it is not about trust... and it sure as hell is not abut you either?" I snap, more than a little fed up with the whole situation.

"So will you talk to me now?" he insists and I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes at that.

"No."

"'No'?" he repeats, glaring at me.

"No, damn it! You told Cottle and the Old Man, didn't you?" I ask.

"And what the frak does that have to do with anything?"

"How about the fact that I'm not frakking doing this twice? I know them and if I were to tell you now I would still have to tell them later and seeing how there's no way in hell I'm doing that you are just going to have to frakking wait," I growl, not happy with the situation at all but well aware that there's no way I'm getting out of this one, not this time around. I might have been able to deflect Lee if it had been just him but I know Cottle, I know the Old Man and I know they are not going to let it drop so the only question is how hard am I going to fight them, how painful am I going to make this for myself.