Chapter 49
(Lee's POV)

I am instantly awake the moment I hear Kara begin to whimper in her sleep.

Oh, I knew she had been having some pretty serious nightmares --and she is not the only one, far from it-- but up until a couple of days ago I hadn't wanted to admit just how bad the situation was. The fact that someone is having trouble sleeping is just one of those things you can't help but to know in the close quarters of a battlestar but at the same time most pilots consider nightmares to be a sign of weakness and because of that, bunk room etiquette says it is rude to openly acknowledge them... at least not under normal circumstances. Of course, these are not normal circumstances, this is not the bunk room and Kara is not just another pilot. She is a lot more than that and I just can't stand the idea of letting her face her demons alone... not when I'm standing right here.

She is my best friend, damn it, and it's just the two of us. There is no need to keep up appearances and I've just about had it. Of course, convincing her of that fact is not going to be easy and, in a really twisted kind of way, the fact that she is being difficult about that is sort of reassuring.

The thing is that I have been unofficially sharing Kara's 'room' for the past couple of days, ironically ever since Dee confronted me about the amount of time I had been spending here with her. Sure, I know I could go back to the senior pilots' quarters --in fact I know I probably should-- but if I were to do that Dee would be forced to go back to her old bunk as well and I don't think she is ready to do that. Simply put, it was my rank that allowed us to be assigned private quarters in the first place, especially considering that right now we have families with small children living in the crews' quarters, and there is no way Dee would be allowed to keep that room for herself.

That's why I've been sleeping here... not that I'm complaining about that. Yes, my cot is far from comfortable but being here means that I can keep an eye on Kara, it means that I can actually see how she is doing just by looking up and that makes it worth it. Of course, that also means that I have a front-row seat to her nightmares and that brings me back to my current predicament.

For several days now I have been forcing myself to look the other way but I hate to see her suffer and I am itching to do something about that, bunk room etiquette be damned... especially because I can see that this latest nightmare is getting worse, not better. Unfortunately I suspect that --even in her weakened state-- trying to shake Kara awake would be hazardous to my health. She is a soldier first and foremost and that means that she is likely to come out swinging.

Rather gingerly --and knowing that I am taking my life in my hands-- I sit near the foot of her bed and I gently reach for her calf, shaking it slightly as I call her name, hoping to be close enough to offer some comfort if she is willing to accept it but far enough to get out of the way if she decides to strike first and ask questions later.

Her first reaction at my touch is to stiffen and then she sits up with a strangled --almost animalistic-- cry but at the same time she doesn't try to fight me off. It takes her a moment to orient herself.

"Lee?" she asks hesitatingly after a couple of seconds.

"Yes, it's me," I say, moving closer to the head of the bed and pulling her into a hug. I can almost taste her fear as I feel her heart pounding against my chest. For a moment she seems unsure of what to do and I prepare to let her go at the first sign of distress but, much to my relief, eventually she relaxes into my embrace.

We stay like that for what feels like hours, though in reality it is barely a couple of minutes. She is shaking and I keep rubbing circles on her back, trying to get her to calm down but it's not easy.

"You want to talk about it?" I ask pulling away enough to look at her when I feel some of the tension finally drain from her body.

"Not really it's just that..." she trails off, not meeting my eyes and obviously not knowing how to explain.

"Just that what?" I prod.

"It's just that I keep seeing them, that I can't even close my eyes without them..."

"Shh, it's okay, it was just a dream... you got out, you are safe now," I say, though my words ring hollow, even to my own ears.

"I know... or at least I sort of do but I still can't escape them," she admits, fighting back the tears.

"Them?"

"Leoben and Simon and Jonas," she whispers as she chews on her lower lip.

"Kara?"

"Yes?"

"Who is Jonas?"